A Secret Pice of Me

  A mothers love, finale and immeasurable by size. Fills space and time. A mother loves before her child is born, before she’s a mother even. And that love can never be matched. Or copied or replaced. But not all mothers are created equal. Some love in a different way, some aren’t shown the love they may wish or even believe they give to their child.   Sometimes we know who people are and we decide to ignore it anyway for fear of loneliness. How I wish I was stronger and able to say No and Yes when I meant it. Some people learn from their past some don’t. I learn but I never course correct, and I do believe that why I lost my mother in the end, but lets star at the beginning.   M y first memory goes back to when I was, 4 and I lived in New York in a 3 story apartment with my big brother father and my Mother. I was a child that always kept to herself and really ever heard a no when she wanted something. She had so many toys bags and bags. She was oblivious to her surround...

  Our Arrival     It is the summer of 1991 .   We  arrive in South America, after finding out that my mother had officially kidnapped her own children from the hands of the American government and my uncle and aunt. We were off to our new lives. and once we arrived I had no idea what would become of my life there. This was a place full of dirt roads and people speaking a language I did not understand. We look strange to them and they to us. I suddenly had a large family a grandmother and uncles and cousins and aunts I had not seen or known of before then.  Settling in was difficult. We were all in the same room and had to share everything even food, this was a poor country and we came to form a very comfortable life before coming here so excepting all of these changes from one day to the next was no easy feat. We were living with my u...

    It's the winter ❄️ of 1990.  I am four years old,   I guess  I'll  take you back to the  beginning. This is  more than a story with a simple happy ending. Since these are so hard to come by anyhow. No one on this earth is immortal nor do they have the good sense to know when they're done with a chapter in their life well enough to move on. Especially, this is the case with women. We as Women of the 21st century tend to suffer in silence and not only for a little while but for many years. Becoming comfortable in our relationships. In the belief that we will never be able to do better . Or that we deserve better, or even that we are doing the right thing for our children!! If you can believe that! That was actually the situation with me. I love....and when I love I love hard!!! And so it was twice for me. I had loved so hard that it became my undoing.      It started with my father actually. Who can you love more than your own pat...